I see so much violence in the world. So much destruction, and aggression. It scares me, and that fear that lives inside of me lives in all of us.
It is the fear to die, but also the fear to fully live. It is the fear to let go of all our differences, to trust, to be love. But it is also the fear to one day die, or rather every day die because every day some part of us will never come back.
I was watching the news the other day, and one after the other news item crossed the screen. I sat, barely holding in the tears. I sat, broken. I sat, crying for what we are doing to ourselves. I sat, with tears welling up grieving over all the lives, all over this world, day in day out, living in violence, in fear, and in terror.
I am not just talking about the violence in South Africa at this time in history. I am not just talking about the destruction of nature happening all around the planet. I am not talking about wars, murders, and poverty. I am not talking about all the lives broken and changed by the COVID Virus.
I am talking about all of us. You, and I. We all live in violence as of today. The violence against ourselves.
The Violence Towards Ourselves
I am devastated by the sight of all the violence happening around the world. Most of all the violence we inflict upon ourselves.
Our inner violence, our inner fighting, our inner struggles. I see this deeply rooted form of violence all around me. I see it on the news, I read about it on social media, and see it within myself and the people close to me.
The violence against ourselves, against everything that is right now. The violence towards our thoughts, our emotions, our traumas, and pains.
Our inner violence, our inner fighting, our inner struggles. I see this deeply rooted form of violence all around me.
Isn’t this the root of all the violence in the world? That we cannot live in harmony, in peace, in love with ourselves? That we cannot look our neighbor in the eye without any biases, without any thoughts, ideas, or judgments?
How can we not allow ourselves to feel all the human emotions and thoughts we have? How can we not allow ourselves to feel angry, sad, or in pain, without violently putting it out into the world?
Why Are We Doing This?
How can we not live with ourselves as we are? I think that is what has been going through my mind the past couple of days. How we do so much but feel so little.
We do so much but feel so little.
Aren’t you, and me, both dealing with our own fears, and our own pain? Yet how come that this fear, this pain is inflicted upon the world around us so much? How come that when someone feels angry he or she is so quick to get angry with the world?
Can’t we just feel, fully, what it means to be angry? Or to be scared, or sad, or depressed? Why is it that we have to act upon this and put all this violence that is happening within us out into the world?
There are so many questions, that have all one answer: why are we fighting what is happening inside us? That is the question, that leads to the answer.
Why are we fighting what is happening inside us?
How come you can not simply allow yourself to be angry? To be angry and not reflect that on anyone, or anything? How come you cannot just feel anger, without either condemning it or accepting that it roams free and does more harm? How come we can’t just be with the anger, and see that we are the anger?
That we cannot get rid of the anger, nor that we make it better by acting upon it. Can you not see that there is a peaceful way? A way that involves no violence at all? Not inwardly violent, nor outwardly violent?
I hope you see that all this violence that is out in the world finds its root within you.
I hope you can see, I hope you see that all this violence that is out in the world finds its root within you. Within each one of us. In some, it is stronger than in others, because some are resisting it more than others.
We all come from different backgrounds. We all have our traumas, and hardships and those breed our fears and therefore our anger, our pain, and suffering.
But do we, from that pain, from that anger, from what we have gone through, need to inflict that on others? However much we believe they are wrong? However cruel or greedy they have been?
I dare to say that we don’t. You may disagree with me, you may argue with me over this. But let’s not fight over it. Let’s not hate each other for our opinions, and ways of living. Let’s not inflict any more violence and hate into this world than we have gone through or are experiencing right now.
I would love to help you with that. I hope that you can read this with an open heart, and without any beliefs or conditions from your past on what’s right or what’s wrong.
What We Must Do
In each one of us, there is pain, there are problems. We all face these inner discomforts. Which if we would completely feel them would be free to leave again.
Yet we don’t feel what it is we are feeling. We condemn it. Push it down. Deny it. Reject it. Fight it. Numb it. You by not feeling what it is your feeling, however uncomfortable it is, are creating a war within yourself. To you this may sound hard, you are creating violence, you are just as much a cause of the violence and destruction that this world is facing right now as all others on this planet that are fighting themselves.
We don’t feel what it is we are feeling.
So have I. I still feel violence within me. I still fight myself at times when I feel angry and don’t want to feel angry. I still judge other people. I still hold violence within me. We all do. And this is each one of our obligations to feel it. To free ourselves from it.
To not act upon it and cause more harm. To not become violent. But become loving towards all that we are within us. How?
What We Haven’t Been Taught
To become one with the violence within each one of us. To feel it completely, with all that we are. You see, we are so scared to become one with all the discomforts within us because we think that by becoming one with them we are enlarging it.
Yet the opposite is what will happen. If we can see that the violence, the anger, the hate, the fighting, the greed, the jealousy, the fear, the repression, all of it, is part of us, that it is who we are in that very moment, it will find peace.
If we can see that the violence, the anger, the hate, the fighting, the greed, the jealousy, the fear, the repression, all of it, is part of us, that it is who we are in that very moment, it will find peace.
I hope some of you will see this. It is just like a kid that is begging for candy. If you, as the parent, reject the kid, grab it by the arm and violently tell it to stop yearning it will start to cry and eventually get mad. This is what your aggression towards the kid is doing. You are growing its anger and sadness.
Where you also could choose to, as many times as necessary, calmly listen to the kid and not explain why it shouldn’t have candy and why it should stop begging, but to instead tell it that it’s okay to want to something and not get it. That it’s okay to feel this rejection, and emptiness, this discomfort.
This is what none of us have been taught, or at least very little of us. That neither giving in, judging or rejecting is the way to free ourselves from all the violence that’s going on within us.
This is what none of us have been taught, or at least very little of us. That neither giving in, judging or rejecting is the way to free ourselves from all the violence that’s going on within us. All this will only breed more anger, frustration, violence, and all the rest of it.
So why are you doing the same to what you are feeling inside? Why are you giving in to, judging, or rejecting what you are feeling? Why? Can you ask yourself that? Can you find this out? But most of all, can you see that you need not do any of these three things?
That instead you could just recognize that you are feeling what you are feeling, and let it be. Pay full attention to it. Feel its physical sensation, feel what it does to you, and not think about it. Cause thought is judgment, it is not helping you feel what it is you are feeling. Nor is it helping you free yourself from it.
The Natural Release
We all want to be more alive, and we all want this world to be a peaceful place. That peaceful world will only start within you. The moment you find peace with all you are. All the violence, and beauty within you, and love it all.
That is when you will come to life, that is when you’ll feel fully alive. I hope you can see that we need not fight ourselves, we don’t need to better ourselves. If we could just see what we are in every moment it will by itself recognize the uselessness of all the hate-carrying emotions.
That’s the natural release, the free flow, for whatever you are feeling. To treat yourself inside like you would with a kid, with complete love, patience, and attention. That will be the complete and total love for yourself.
To treat yourself inside like you would with a kid, with complete love, patience, and attention. That will be the complete and total love for yourself.
That will be the end of violence within you, and therefore you will not inflict it upon another. It will be your wake-up, from the illusion that you should be anything different than you are right now, and that you are separate from the larger world around you.
I hope you will find freedom from all of this violence within you. So that you too can say Today I Lived! I made the most of it.