19:00 | May 17, 2020

How life goes on

The unpredictability of life

Understand

Hi beautiful soul, I got a beautiful new inspiration today. Hope you enjoy it!

How life goes on. Even though everything slows down, life doesn’t stop. It keeps going round. How can you deal with the current situation?

A bunny sprints across the empty field. Into the reet on the other side. He’s gone. “It was a delight seeing you mister rabbit.” I think to myself. I wonder where it is heading. I see the reet move slightly and know that mister rabbit isn’t really gone. He goes on. His white bum will bounce up and down till he riches his home. A whole in the ground, perfectly constructed so only he and his family can enter. Strong enough to even carry a human on top of it. They can be comfortable in here, through summer and through winter. They seem to hurry through life, but actually they slow down. In winter they sleep and rest, so in summer they can bounce around the field. In winter their lives go on. 

Small spreads of grass pop up out of the ground. Sprouting from the rich soul of the earth. Some are larger than others but they all grow. None of them blames the other for being taller or greener. They all get the same soil, the same water and minerals. They can not ask for more, nature gives them what they need. When rain falls they store in deep within the ground for them to tap from. Their roots grow stronger and adept quickly to the changing environment. They have changed and adapted much over the years. Weather changed from rain into sun. The plants have endured much pain, much suffering. Have they ever complained to us? Have they ever intentionally hurt us? Their cry for help is loud and is now heard from all over the world. Still their lives go on. 

I see a man walking his dog. The dog jumps around the place. Sniffing each plant or tree stam. His owner trust him for staying with him. They walk by and the dog notices me. He takes a big leap and sprints towards me. I was sitting on the ground and he started sniffing. “Hi” I said. The dog was interested by the fragrance it smelled. “You probably smell a different dog, don’t you?” His owner walked up to me and asked if I was alright. He noticed me starring into the fields for about an hour now. I told him I was alright. “I love your dog by the way!” I said just after he had turned around and walked away. He called his dog and she ran after him. It made me smile, cause their lives went on. 

It was time for me to leave. I stood up from the sandy ground and shook off all the remaining bits of sand and grass from my bum. I grabbed my bag and slung it across my shoulder. On my way back home, people passed me by. Some in cars, others on foot and some on bikes. Some smiled at me and continued their conversation. Others looked the other way or had a grumpy face. I laughed to each one of them. They passed me by and their lives continued as normal. Some happy, some still grumpy and others with a bit more enjoyment than before.

Once I was home my mom came up to me and said. “Daan, grandpa is in the hospital. Last night he was brought there.” I was shocked. He was alright and would probably be okay. So I went to my room and continue with life. 

Bunny crossing the field
Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

I didn’t want to think of these things. There was so much to be grateful for. The bunny crossing the field, the plucks of grass poppin from the ground and the dog coming to say hello to me came back to me in my mind. I was happy to have seen them. I had just spend two hours in nature so it was time for me to start working again. The thoughts I had flowed into the back of my mind. When I stopped working I felt hollow. Like something was missing. I didn’t like it so I focused on what I did have. I felt happy again, and life goes on. 

At diner we all listened to the news. I heard of the pain the world was going through. I felt the sadness, the anger and the desperation. As usual the news was all negative so I banished it from my mind. Completely ignoring the feelings I got from it. The bunny, the grass and the dog reminded me of the happiness there still was in life. Just before going to bed I felt rushed. My heart was pounding and it felt like it was trying to say something to me. I had to sleep and get rest. So I laid down and fell asleep. Life still goes on. 

I woke up. Scared and rushed. Someone had been following me in my dream. I was chased in a high speed car. I didn’t know who was following me. I just wanted to get away from it. It felt strange cause I had, had this dream for a few weeks now. Is my unconscious trying to tell me something? I though to myself. So I google ‘what does being chased in a dream mean?’. I didn’t need to read the complete page. The answer was right there. YOU ARE RUNNING FROM SOMETHING. “Nah, I ain’t running from anything. I am happier than ever and feel great. What could I be possible running from?” So life went on. 

I worked each day for the rest of the week. Not really taking any rest to reflect on my dream. Then suddenly a rush of pain went through my body as I was writing for school. I felt so much pain and I cried. For what? There was nothing to be sad about. Everything was okay. Grandpa was back from the hospital and the rest of my family was doing fine. I opened my phone, scrolling through insta stories. One after the other COVID-19 influenced post came by. I closed instagram because I didn’t want to think of it. I thought to myself how this time could help the earth from killing itself and restore its natural balance. So again I forced away the pain and sadness I felt and life went on. 

Today in the middle of the night I woke up. I was dizzy and couldn’t sleep. As of suddenly a wave of anger, sadness, pain and fear had flooded me. Where did this come from? As I asked this to myself I remembered the dream in which I was chased. I was running from someone I didn’t know. I was running from the world. From myself and the world. I remembered listening to the news and feeling the sadness, fear and pain coming over me. All our lives would change. How people where fighting to survive. Nurses and doctors desperately crying for help and for us to stop going out. I suddenly felt the pain the world was feeling. How nature must have felt all these years of killing and burning its body. I couldn’t resist the tears anymore and they started rolling down my face. I was scared. So scared for the world to go back to where it was. I was scared of the pain we where enduring. I was fearing if we would ever understand that going back to normal wasn’t a thing anymore. I felt connected to each and every soul on the planet. For a moment I felt one with it. I grieved with it and nurtured its wounds.

I can no longer stand and watch. I can no longer silence myself. I listened to what my body was telling me. I listened to the desperate cries of the world. I felt shit, but for a good cause. The anger fueled me with motivation to change. To thrive from this and create a new world. The sadness healed my wounds and allowed me to bare the pain. I fell on my back. For a moment it all went quiet. I fell asleep and life went on.   

Weird human
Photo by yns plt on Unsplash

Life ain’t normal

Life ain’t normal anymore. It has changed. At first I thought I didn’t care much about the virus. Not in a way that I didn’t care what happened to the world, but I just didn’t think it would emotionally touch me. It did in the end, more than I expected it to do. It scared me and made me humble. In this time I have come to the conclusion that now is my shot. That this anger and fear are fueling and guiding me towards something beautiful. I have taken this chance to reflect on what truly is my potential and what I want to do. I have made dreams, wrote them down and started building. I have done more to make this brand a succes than I ever did before. I am driven to the core of my existence to make this thing work. I now see the value that I can give. I forgot about what I could get from it for myself completely. This has been my drive for the last few years. Simply making money. But life ain’t normal and it will over and over break everything down to build it back up again. So if I focus on the money my happiness depends on it. For that if it is taken from me, my happiness will be taken from me. So happiness is the path I choose. Gratitude and giving back is all I ask. I do not need much but a simple life where I can help others. Enough about what I have learned, this wouldn’t make any sense if you could not get something from it. 

I’ve strongly resisted on literally giving advice. I don’t know why because I actually love helping people. I just thought that nobody would care about the advice I could give. I was freaking scared again. I suppressed so fucking much shit. It funny how I was thinking I had it all under control. That is what I hope you take from this. That life has power over you. Not you over life. All you have power over is you. You can not change anything in life but yourself. Act that way. Life will go on without you if you don’t see this. Don’t focus on what you can earn or how much followers you have. Focus on your legacy. What you leave behind when you are gone. What is it you want to be remembered for? Do you want to be remembered for music? Then fucking do it. I have this friend who makes dance music, he is a fucking inspiration to me. He isn’t the kind of type that goes insane on working for his passion and loose on all other aspects of life. He rather works on his craft every free minute he has and makes time for friends and family as well. He gives instead of takes. This is truly motivational to me. If you want to, you can take inspiration from everywhere. Friends, family, class mates and so on they all have their personal story. Something to share with the world that you can learn from. Don’t push your emotions away, don’t push the world away. It is a beautiful thing to see what is wrong with the world because we have the fucking privilege to change it! We have all the wealth in the world. So in one sentence:

“Fucking go get life or it will go on without you!”

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About me

Today I lived is a three word quote that reminds me and you to live. To enjoy this life and look for the sunshine in your day! Cause “beauty is everywhere”

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