When you look in the mirror, do you see yourself? Do you see your true self? The real you, the one following the rhythm of your heart. The one that moves elegantly. The one who sees every step as a wonder. The one that laughs and shines with every misstep. Are you that kid who falls but get ups with a sparkle in its eyes. Are you dancing through life. Following the waves of the melody and the harmony between the individual instruments? Do you feel one with the world? If you move your hand does it feel like you? Who are you? What do you want? Where do you wanna go?
Question after question like thick fluffy clouds in your mind. Abstract, only consisting of water. You see them come and go. Dancing in harmony with the wind. What do you see? The shapes become clearer and distinguishable. They form an image, a form, something you can recognize. You reach and want to touch them. You think you finally got it. The answer on your question. You see and you reach. Grab it and feel. What do you feel? Nothing. Emptiness. The only thing you feel is a bit of water and a cold feeling in your hand.
Ain’t that me then? Wasn’t that the cloud with the answer? The cloud fades out and dissolve in the mass. Something is missing. This isn’t right. The clouds give me an answer, but then disappear as quickly as I got them. When I grab them I only feel nothingness. It is empty. Why don’t the questions give me answers? You grab a book and open it. Maybe the pages full of letters and wisdom bring you what you seek. Your fingers feel the ribbed, warm pages sliding through their senses. Your eyes scan, flow through the words attracted to them like a magnet. Searching for truth, for answers. YOU SEEK THE ANSWER!
Where is it then? It must be somewhere, right? How couldn’t there be an answer? The words form sentences but no truths. There must be truth. It just must. Who am I? I must find myself and accept me. The tears roll down your cheeks. You don’t know. Your entire life you’ve known the answer. This time, this time it’s different. The answers are trying to fill the empty air. They try to fill the emptiness. That emptiness you feel.
It never works, cause the clouds are free. You can’t hold on to them. They disappear. Dissolve into thin air. Go together but never become solid. They never fill the emptiness. They never fill the entire sky. There will always be a burst of sunlight coming through somewhere.
So that space in your heart it stays empty. It seems to be filled with clouds. Yet the only thing they bring is cold. Cold and untouchable. They don’t allow the sun through. The only thing always there is filtered out. You don’t even feel the sun anymore. The clouds block it.
The search for answers is nothing more than a shell around the emptiness. The emptiness will always exist, behind the question. Deep down this is the truth you know. The questions and answers don’t matter. They will never give you what you seek. Who are you? What if I am really Daan. Am I whole then? I don’t think so. The emptiness inside will stay. It will always be there like the sun. Life is purposeless, empty. All goals, mission that I give myself are. They never fill the emptiness. The only thing filling the emptiness, is the emptiness itself. Recognition. Seeing that the emptiness isn’t empty. It is part of you. Then life is, purposeless. All opportunities become available then. With that life has only one goal. The purposeless, accepting the emptiness that life brings.
Doesn’t that sound amazing? Everything is allowed. Everything is possible. Nothing tells you what is real. The clouds disappear. The shell dissolves. The sun. Oh the sun.
What have I missed you. But there you where again. Or rather. There we are again. Oh sun. Now. Now we are the sun together. You shine, I shine. Oh aren’t the colors beautiful. The plant, they smell so wonderful. Still they are empty. Nothing more than water and earth. Oh so pretty.
Do you remember? All those questions you once had? You skip and hop again. Happy as a kid. You see shapes in the clouds again. You don’t see them as the coming of rain. Or as a cover for the sun. They are simply shapes. One looks like a bunny, the other like a dragon. Suddenly they fill you. They don’t disappear, they leave something. Something as intangible as the clouds themselves. The only answer.
the last piece was the key.
not the answer.
no not an answer
just writing about it
not seeking for positivity
not seeking the answer for your problem
then life become so beautiful
then suddenly I feel a tear rolling down my face
the sun on my body
I missed you
you feed me
feed me with
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Today I lived is a three word quote that reminds me and you to live. To enjoy this life and look for the sunshine in your day! Cause “beauty is everywhere”
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