One Question That Determines If You’re Happy or Miserable

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Day 14 of Feeling Alive

Yesterday at about 9 p.m. I finished my work. I was done for the day, and I was ready to relax and do something fun. I decided to watch some YouTube.

I was halfway into a video when I realized that I wasn’t enjoying it. So I asked myself, why ain’t I enjoying it? What is it that I want to do instead? I figured that I wanted to read, and so I stopped the video and grabbed a book.

I started reading, and only 4 pages in, I started to feel the same as when I was watching the YouTube video. I wasn’t enjoying it. Again I asked myself why ain’t I happy?

I put away my book, and the spiral of figuring out why I wasn’t enjoying it continued. I realized that I hadn’t enjoyed much of that day. And at that point, I asked myself the question that made everything worse.

The Question We Shouldn’t Ask Ourselves

I asked myself the wrong question. I’ve asked myself this question all throughout my life, but I realize that it is the wrong question to ask.

Yesterday I asked myself this question: why ain’t I happy?

This is a question that’s fairly common right? Probably one way or another you’ve asked yourself the same question or one that’s very similar. Isn’t it a great thing to ask yourself why you aren’t happy? Doesn’t it inspire action to change it and start feeling happy?

That’s at least what I thought, but things have changed. Cause the mental downward spiral I experienced yesterday showed me that asking myself why I wasn’t happy only reinforced the fact that I wasn’t happy.

Let me explain. The moment you ask yourself ‘why ain’t I happy?’ you imply that you aren’t happy. That’s very straightforward, but then doesn’t this question solve that by making you figure out why? It does, if we ask ourselves this question we will indeed at some point figure out what makes us unhappy, but then what?

Asking yourself ‘why you aren’t happy’ is the wrong question to ask yourself. This question both reinforces the fact that you are feeling unhappy, and at the same time, it’s not supporting you to figure out what is making you happy.

Now we know what makes us unhappy, but we still haven’t got the slightest of clues on how to be happy right? Now that’s why asking yourself ‘why you aren’t happy’ is the wrong question to ask yourself. This question both reinforces the fact that you are feeling unhappy, and at the same time, it’s not supporting you to figure out what is making you happy.

This question is reinforcing the lack of happiness within you. It is making you relive the past, instead of embracing an internal transformation straight away, so that you will experience happiness right now.

In other words, it’s keeping you stuck in a downwards spiral, instead of an uplifting one.

Flip The Question Around

There is a very simple transformation for this. Just flip the question around. Instead of asking yourself, why ain’t I happy? Ask yourself, why am I happy? Even though you’re not feeling happy, asking yourself why you are happy will get you started on an uplifting inner journey.

Instead of asking yourself, why ain’t I happy? Ask yourself, why am I happy?

You see, by asking ourselves why we are happy we start to see and think of everything we are happy for in this very moment. It’s a positive reinforcing question to ask ourselves, that isn’t denying the fact that we are unhappy, but actually realizing that in every moment there are an infinite amount of things to be happy for.

If you ask yourself why you are happy at this very moment there will be at least one reason why you are. It could be that you are happy to be reading this article or it could be that you are enjoying a cup of coffee.

Flipping the question around, and asking ourselves why we are happy reinforces the idea that in every moment we can be happy. Although you might not feel happy the moment you ask yourself this question, you are now actively observing, and seeing all the things that do make you happy.

Therefore you are supporting yourself to figure out all the reasons why you are happy. You are making an active change to see the beauty of life. That active action into seeing all that is making you happy frees you of all the worrying about why you aren’t happy.

This one question helps you:

  • Be more present in this very moment
  • Be more grateful for all that is happening
  • See the opportunities to be happy for, all around you
  • Positively reinforce yourself to live a happier life

Flipping the question from seeing what we were lacking, into what we are given is the first step towards a happy life instead of a miserable life.

How The Mind Will See What The Heart Already Knows

It’s such a simple change in our lives, yet this very subtle change brings about massive transformation. Because oftentimes we are focusing on finding out why we are in a particular situation when finding out why we are in that situation doesn’t change anything about it.

Flipping the question from seeing what we were lacking, into what we are given is the first step towards a happy life instead of a miserable life.

It only reinforces the fact that we are in that situation. It holds us in the past, in everything that has already happened. If there is one thing we all know, it is that we can’t change the past, we can only do something about it in the present and therefore change our future.

That one thing is to ask ourselves a different question. To see that there really is no use to find out why you are unhappy. It doesn’t change anything. But flipping the question will instead shift your attention to find out why you are happy. It makes you see what is. It makes you see all the infinite reasons to be happy.

This not just applies to happiness, it applies to many of our lives’ problems. Like worry, or anxiety. If we ask ourselves “why am I worried” we reinforce the worrying because now we are worrying about why we are worrying. But if we flip that question and ask ourselves “why am I at peace with the way life is?” We will actively build links between our hearts and brain that will reinforce a peaceful and joyful life.

Your heart already knows this, it knows that everything we ever want to be or experience is present in this very moment. The mind is the one that finds it hard to come to terms with this because it wants to find logic in it. And it can, it can be one with the heart, by focusing on why we are already experiencing what it is we want to experience.

The mind is the one that finds it hard to come to terms with this because it wants to find logic in it.

This way the mind will see that the heart is right, and it will see the beauty that’s all around us. That change will determine if you’re living a happy life or not, no matter what’s happening around you.

The Solution

So, to summarise things:

  • See that figuring out why you aren’t happy is only reinforces the fact that you aren’t happy and doesn’t help you to rise from it
  • Ask yourself why you are happy, this will open your eyes to the limitless beauty all around us
  • Flip the questions that reinforce the things you don’t want to be or experience
  • Focus your questions on seeing and experience what it is you want to experience
  • This change will help the mind see what the heart already knows

And that’s how you realize that there is an infinite pool of beauty around us. A source of unlimited potential for a beautiful life. It’s all around you, cause Today You Live! You are making the most of it in every moment.

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