What’s that part of you that needs healing? That would love to heal, so you can start living? What is blocking you from coming to life? I’ve experienced a lot of realizations in the past couple of weeks and days for my healing journey. Most of them are universal because I am not unique. I am not special, and I have never seen myself as such. I am just like you, and we are both on healing journeys.
Although we like to be completely healed and perfect the truth is that life is messy and imperfect. We get damaged all the time. By people around us, by events happening in our lives, or by our own thoughts. It’s all part of the journey we call life, but man would we love it if life would be painless. We would want the healing to be over, and to be in a state of enlightenment, of seeing through the lies we tell ourselves. Yet for some reason, we over and over again find ourselves in similar situations that require our loving attention and healing. But because it stings and hurts, most of the time, we become ignorant of it. Push it away, and do not want to heal.
I’ve found myself in such a situation again, where I believed that healing myself from the pressure and stress I was going through was done in a day. I thought that if I figured it all out, and had one of those realization moments, that the healing would be done. Yet the pain kept returning and I over and over again asked myself why I wasn’t fine yet? Why I couldn’t heal myself fully. Until I realized that one thing that I had been missing all this time.
I thought that if I figured it all out, and had one of those realization moments, that the healing would be done. Yet the pain kept returning and I over and over again asked myself why I wasn’t fine yet?
The Thorn Keeps Returning
My healing journey has always been like a thorn that I thought I pulled from my skin, but then soon after it returned. I pulled it out again and felt relieved. The day after it was there again. It is such a frustration to over and over again have to figure out why the thorn keeps returning. Every time you seem to pull it from your skin you seem to be released of the pain you impose on yourself. But nothing is more true, because that thorn will often return.
Every time you seem to pull it from your skin you seem to be released of the pain you impose on yourself. But nothing is more true, because that thorn will often return.
This often happens with our traumas. All a trauma needs to rekindle is something that reminds you of that moment. You might have a memory of being left alone by your parents. You felt abandoned by them. Although your parents might not have had the intention to traumatize you with their action you now have to deal with it. You see we can blame those who have traumatized us, but as I discussed in my article yesterday: The Gates of Inner Freedom are Right There… There is no use in blaming others for the suffering they caused within us. Taking responsibility for our healing process is all that matters.
That memory of abandonment can be recalled by a smell that reminds you of that moment, or a specific emotion like fear, or sadness that you felt, or maybe even a specific sound can do so too. All these things can quickly recall that memory and put us back in that state of trauma. Even though we might have believed that we pulled the thorn out. That we had healed ourselves from the trauma.
Yet here is the thing, healing ourselves isn’t done by pulling out the thorn just once. The traumas and suffering we are going through are oftentimes complex and can be rekindled by many things. You should see it more like a glass that broke shattering all across your skin. There are many pieces of glass stuck within your skin. You have many realizations which help you pull out one or two of the glass shards. But there are more, and that’s the experience we go through when we over and over again feel like we have healed ourselves but then something happens and we get confronted with that feeling of suffering and trauma again.
It isn’t that the thorn keeps returning, it is that one traumatic event leaves many thorns within us, that all need to be pulled from our skin. There isn’t one thorn that causes this much trauma. Yes, some thorns are painful and will get more painful the longer they stay within your skin. But healing is a consistent and continuous process.
The realization I had this week, was that I was thinking that by figuring something out I would heal myself from the anxiety I was feeling completely. That isn’t true, at least not in this case. I remember that a few years back I was dealing with the fear of puking. Which is a common fear that some of you might have. With this, you fear puking in public places and fear puking in general. I was scared to create a mess. Which made me nauseous and that feeling of nausea leads me to think I had to puke. This was a loop that was constantly reinforcing itself.
It was not until I realized that I could watch this thought and not do a thing. That I realized that I didn’t have to fear puking. It was a realization, but that realization didn’t instantly change my life. It took many months to get to a state in which I didn’t fear puking the moment I entered a public bus. Each day I sat in that bus fearing to throw up, but every time that anxiety came up I would feel it, and not do a thing. I kept saying to myself “you’ll be alright, this is just a thought, there is nothing to worry about, you will not puke, focus on your breath.” And this thought cycle I continued until I found myself distracted by a stranger in the bus or something like the song I was listening to.
I kept being consistent with my healing practice
After months I found myself entering the bus and for the very first time I didn’t have a thought of anxiety. I didn’t fear puking. The next day I did again fear puking, but I kept being consistent with my healing practice. Soon I found myself on the bus and didn’t worry about throwing up anymore. I was healed, and now I tried to actively recall the thought of puking and yet again I didn’t fear it. After months of each day facing my fear of puking, I finally found myself in a place in which I could actively think of it and not completely stress out.
That’s the true process of healing. It’s being consistent, it takes time, it takes practice, it’s messy, it’s scary, it isn’t fun, but it is for sure worth it. It has changed my life. At this moment in time, I am doing that again, because I realized how I thought that healing was a one-time thing. It isn’t, it’s a process that takes time, and goes step by step.
There will be days for you in which you are healing, but it will not feel like it. It will be messy, painful, and stingy. You will not instantly feel at peace, you will not in one go resolve all your fears or traumas. It takes consistency with your healing practice to truly heal the deep wounds that the thorns have created. These thorns have often been in our skin for years and pulling each one of them out, one by one creates a lot of discomforts. Just know that it’s worth it. That if you leave them in, the pain will only get worse. You have to get them out, and that process might take months. But those months will be nothing in comparison to the pain you’ll be facing if you leave the thorns in.
So start healing, consistently. Day in day out. Make a practice out of it. Face your traumas each day consistently. After maybe a week, a month, or more you’ll find that you will have days where the trauma isn’t haunting you anymore. Days in which you can say you are truly alive.
Step By Step
Take it step by step. That’s the most important thing. Be patient with your healing journey. I know it’s incredibly tempting to think that you can heal yourself in a day, but healing is a process. It’s not something done within a day. A realization is what happens in just a moment, but keeping that realization alive takes consistency and dedication. Doing it step by step.
I know it’s incredibly tempting to think that you can heal yourself in a day, but healing is a process.
Your healing journey isn’t a slide you go down. It’s more of a ladder you climb step by step. Some steps you are tired, others you look down and are scared of the height, others you feel amazing and you quickly pass. But at the end of the ladder, you will be at a higher level, a place in which you are more alive.
That’s why we are on this earth. To be more alive. To learn, and to grow, and to enjoy that journey each step. Or at least be present during each step, because some steps are incredibly painful and you can’t enjoy them. Just remind yourself to be present of that pain as well. And remain consistent with your healing journey. One day you’ll find yourself in a place of bliss. In which you still keep up your healing practices, but instead of healing yourself you can start to help others heal.
You can start to help others heal themselves. That’s a wonderful point, in which you have climbed your ladder so far up that you have trained yourself so much, you now have enough strength to give others a hand on their ladder. You can encourage them, give them tips, listen to them. We heal step by step, it’s rough, it’s messy, but it’s absolutely worth it. Because in the end we will have made this planet a better place and can make sure the next generation doesn’t have to go through the same suffering we have gone through. We don’t just heal for ourselves, we also heal for those around us, and the ones after us. So we as a collective can end our day and say Today I Lived! I made the most of it.
Thanks for reading this article I highly recommend you read the previous article as well. I go deeper into why we can take control over our healing journey. If you like this content about mental health, spirituality, and mindfulness be sure to follow me on Instagram @today.i.lived or subscribe to my weekly newsletter called Rise With The Sun. Where I each Sunday share three thoughts around the beauty of living. In which I appreciate life, and give you a boost of gratitude and positivity to start your week fresh and excited. You can join the newsletter at www.todayilived.com/rise/. Hope to see you there. For now, enjoy your day, because today you live. Make the most of it.