The sun is almost setting. Jil and Marco are still in the forest. The howling of wolves and the hooting of owls make the forest feel spooky. Jil and Marco don’t seem to notice this. All they heard were their voices. The two of them had been friends for a while now. Especially in the last couple of months, their bond grew stronger. Marco felt safe. Safe to express his feelings and deepest worries. Jil on the other hand felt at home. She had someone to count on. That made their friendship so strong.
“I’ve been so afraid lately,” Marco said. “The funny thing is, I am not afraid of this forest right now, but I am afraid of what I feel inside. All the emotions I experience. I am afraid of the decisions I have to make. I am afraid of my future. Of what will happen and if I will be enough.” A tear rolled down Marco’s face. The moonlight made it glisten like a jewel.
Jil stayed silent. Not because she didn’t know what to say, but because she was going through what Marco felt. The silence was filled with the sounds of the night, and the warmth of two hearts that deeply understood each other.
“It’s just…” Marco began. “I am afraid to fully live. To do what I am passionate about, and to be courageous. I am afraid that I am not enough. That, if I, pursue my passion I will never be able to take care of myself financially. I am afraid that I will never find a partner. And…” Marco sighed. “You get the point don’t you?” He said.
“I do,” Jil answered. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t continue expressing what’s on your heart.” She added and looked at Marco.
“I look up to you Jil,” Marco said. Their gazes crossed and for a moment they stopped walking. They realized they were staring at each other and quickly looked away. “Why?” Jil quickly asked to cover up the awkward silence.
“I look up to you because…” Marco hesitated for a moment. “Because you don’t seem to fear the future. You don’t worry about the idea of someday not having enough. You don’t fear making decisions and whether they are the right ones or not. You just seem so content with life, all the time. Whether you are feeling bad, or…” He stopped again. “Well… when your mother passed away, for example, you allowed yourself to feel that grief so deeply. I admired that. And after that, you didn’t even seem to be afraid to die yourself. You still were that beautiful woman that was steadfast and moved forward with complete faith. You decided to take on a new job, which had been a dream of yours all your life. You nailed it. I never had a single doubt whether you would make it or not. How? How can you move forward with such faith?” Marco asked.
Jil looked at him. “When I look around I see nothing but abundance.” She said and looked around. Her hand touched that of Marco. Marco wanted to pull it away, but she grabbed it firmly. “When I look around I see how all of life is rich and vibrant. When I look around I see that I am part of it all. I see how there are millions of flowers, plants, people, and animals all of which live on the same planet. The planet provides for them all and they, in turn, provide for each other. I always believed that I didn’t have enough. That I had to do more myself to be worthy of more. I thought…” she paused for a moment and felt Marco’s warm hand.
“I thought that I wasn’t enough. I thought that to live an abundant life, a full life, I needed to work hard and own it all. That’s what changed when my mother died. I realized that life is abundant. That although my mother died the world had provided her with many years of prosperity and beauty. All my life I believed that the world didn’t take care of me, I had to do it myself. Until then. All of a sudden I realized that I don’t own any of this abundance. I don’t own the plants, I don’t own money or own wealth. I am it. I am part of the abundance of nature.” Marco felt more and more tears roll down his cheek. His heart was so full of love, so full of joy that he couldn’t contain his tears.
I don’t own any of this abundance. I am it.
If it Prospers we do too
“You see Marco, we don’t live an abundant life, we don’t own any of it. We are it.” Jill said compassionately. “You and me. We are both part of this universe, of nature, of society, of this world. If it prospers we prosper. If we take care of others we will live abundantly too. We are the abundance Marco, we are in the midst of it.” She looked at Marco and their eyes crossed once again. This time both of their hearts were so full of love that…
You and me. We are both part of this universe, of nature, of society, of this world. If it prospers we prosper.
Marco saw it. Jil saw it. A sparkle. Sudden. Soft. Vibrant. The sparkle in each other’s eyes was enough. They leaned into each other. Jil grasped Marco’s hand tighter. Their eyes were wide open. Their lips came closer and closer. Their heartbeats sky high. A feeling of love silenced the forest. As if all the animals were watching when they kissed.
It was the kiss that changed it all. Marco looked around. They continued on their walk. Silently observing the abundance of life.
“Faith, Marco,” Jil said and broke the silence. “That’s what life asks of us. To move forward with complete and utter faith. Then it will show us that we are part of the abundance of life. We don’t own it, we don’t acquire or achieve it, we are it… My love” she softly whispered at the end.