I have never been happier than at this very moment. I know that sounds like I am bragging, or maybe that’s just my insecurity that is still telling me that I am not allowed to be this happy. Either way, I feel happy. Excited. Alive.
This is a big thing for me. It has been my search over the last decade of my life. I was looking for what made me happy, fulfilled, excited to be alive.
Over and over again I believed I found happiness, yet soon after it faded again. Disappearing into the abyss of fear, worry, conflict, desire. Today that changed.
Literally just today. It’s the way I write, right from the heart, right in the heat of the moment. It’s what makes me feel alive. So what makes me feel this happy? What makes me say that right now I’ve never been happier? That’s what you wanna know, cause that’s what most of us wanna know. What to do to live a happier life.
A Means To An End
I was watching a YouTube video by one of my favorite filmmakers on the topic of happiness. Nathaniel Drew (the filmmaker) was visiting my home country, the Netherlands. Which, to my surprise, has been in the top 5 happiest countries in the world for a few years now. Here is a link to the video for those wanting to watch it.
In his video, Nathaniel talked about what it means to be happy for Dutch people, and interviews a few of his Dutch friends. Seeing that made me realize all the things that make me happy. Not just that, but it showed me the insanity of my search for happiness.
Seeing someone like Nathaniel Drew, which I’ve looked up to as a storyteller and human being, share how dutch people are happy people shattered something within me. In a good way. It shattered the belief and misconception that my happiness will one day come to me. Either when I achieve something or figure something out.
That belief was shattered because seeing, and hearing, these dutch people talk about their happiness hit home to me. It is relatable because I feel closely connected to their way of living. After all, I was born and raised in the Netherlands.
The realization of all the things around me that are already making me happy broke me. Literally. Cause I cried. I cried watching this YouTube video, because the one thing that could make me happy, was the one thing that I overlooked all this time.
I cried watching this YouTube video, because the one thing that could make me happy, was the one thing that I overlooked all this time.
We are so eager on finding, or creating our happiness that we truly miss, and don’t understand what happiness is. The funny thing is, I’ve been saying this aloud for the past year, yet even I never really got the point.
It’s this constant belief that we can create our own happiness, or that it will come in the near future that’s withholding us from actually being happy. I know this has been shared a lot over the internet, but I want to clarify it for you.
Even though you are probably improving yourself a lot, working on self-love, spirituality, mindfulness, mental health, and all these sorts of things. Happiness never seems to come to you or feels like it can be sustainable. Why is that?
Because all these things I just named, are still means to an end.
You see, working on your self-love for the goal to feel happier with yourself is still a means to an end. The end being happiness, the means being self-love. This approach is still an achievement and future-oriented. Still focused on “if I do this, I will be happy”.
This approach is still an achievement and future-oriented. Still focused on “if I do this, I will be happy”.
That’s the entire point of happiness. That there is no point. No reason for it. No how-to, no way to it. There’s nothing to do, not even letting go. We can do but one thing, and for that, we don’t even need to do anything. Which sounds weird, but hear me out. It’s something I’ve been preaching for a while now.
So what did I say?
That’s the entire point of happiness. That there is no point.
Why You Aren’t Finding Happiness
Today I Lived! I made the most of it. That’s what I have been preaching, but funny enough it never hit home until today.
All this time searching for what made me feel alive, what would make me feel happy in life, I never got the point. I never saw the big bold letters written on the memo of life that was right before me. Saying:
“YOU ARE ALIVE!”
Those three words are all we need to know really. You might object and say: “Well what about acceptance? Self-love? Peace of mind? Love? And all the rest of the things that help us live happier lives?”
To which I will say, aren’t these part of being alive? Isn’t therefore the essence of happiness to actually live? To do nothing else but to live your life?
Our achievement and future-oriented approach is missing the point of happiness. It’s completely missing its mark. If you believe that happiness is something that can be found or created, you are following this achievement-oriented mindset.
Because if you are looking for a treasure, you are looking for the achievement of finding that treasure. The treasure is happiness, and so you are looking for the achievement of finding it. Unaware that the real treasure is right under your feet, which is the experience of searching.
I was searching for happiness, not realizing that my search for happiness was at that moment my source of happiness.
Man did I laugh at myself for realizing this. I was searching for happiness, not realizing that my search for happiness was at that moment my source of happiness. Searching and understanding happiness actually gave me a sense of feeling alive. That lively feeling made me feel happy, yet I didn’t even notice it, I was so occupied with finding what was the ultimate form of happiness that I missed the actual happiness at this very moment.
And this is what is happening to you as well. You are searching for happiness, or you already know that searching for happiness won’t bring you happiness, which then will lead to you wanting to cease the search, yet again not realizing the point of happiness.
These are two cases that are very similar to one another.
- Case one: you are searching for happiness, which means you are looking for something in the future, not realizing that your search for happiness is actually what is making you feel alive right now, and therefore is the source of your happiness.
- Case two: you know that searching for happiness is insanity, and so you want to stop searching. Which is again a goal, an achievement. This time the goal is to stop looking in order to be happy and content with life. Still not realizing that your journey of trying to stop the search for happiness is the source of your happiness.
This is the point of happiness, that you don’t get. But it’s time that changed.
The Source of My Happiness
The point of happiness isn’t something to look for, nor to not look for. Either one of these can be a beautiful source of happiness if you’d realize that in this very moment you are living.
That is the only source of happiness. The one thing you can do, yet you don’t need to do anything for. You are alive right now, and that experience of being alive is all you need to be happy. It’s the one thing we can do, to be alive, but being alive isn’t actually something we can actively do.
You are alive right now, and that experience of being alive is all you need to be happy. It’s the one thing we can do, to be alive, but being alive isn’t actually something we can actively do.
We simply wake up each morning being alive, and we go to bed still alive. The moment we aren’t alive we aren’t doing anything, all the rest of the time in which we are alive we aren’t doing it either. It just happens to us.
That’s the source of happiness you are looking for. To be alive. This means that your search for happiness is at the same time the source of your happiness.
Or that your desire to get rid of sadness, or anger, or anything else really, is the source of feeling alive, and therefore the source of enjoying life.
What an illusion have we created, to believe that happiness is something to attain, or create in the future. When it really is a natural by-product of living life as it is.
That’s the source of my happiness. To just be alive. All this searching for happiness is at the same time what makes me happy. All this trying to understand myself and life, all this feeling alive, is the source of happiness for which I was looking.
That’s the source of my happiness. To just be alive. All this searching for happiness is at the same time what makes me happy.
It’s why I feel the happiest I have ever felt. It’s a simple life we are living. Many say it isn’t, but that’s only because we make it out to be a hard thing. When in truth living a happy life is really simple. Because all we can do is to be alive, to live life as it is, and for that, we don’t need to do anything. It just happens. Isn’t that wonderful?
That because Today You Live, you are at the same time making the most of it. There is nothing else to do for that other than to live. So live, and make the most of it, knowing that you don’t need to actively do anything for that. It all just sort of happens naturally.
All the things that now feed my happiness are simple everyday things. That I don’t need to go looking for, nor that I have to worry about appreciating. I just do. It’s things like seeing the smile on a colleague’s face. The feeling of love. Plants, coffee, tea, sounds of nature, going to the dentist, feeling the fear of that as well. It is feeling the stress and worries that I often have over my work, or the clothes I wear. It’s all of this that feeds me with happiness, without doing anything for it. I don’t write it down, I don’t search for it, it’s just there because I am alive.
This means today I lived, I made the most of it.