“You’ll never make that dream a reality! Grow up, boy. Be realistic. What are you expecting from this cruel and harsh world? It ain’t all rainbows and sunshine.” The young boy looked empty-minded at the ground. He had never felt this way before. As if his soul was ripped out of him. His dreams crushed. Shattered. Broken. In pieces.
His stepdad sat across the table from him. With a proud smile on his face, and his arms folded with his chest puffed up. He felt like ‘the man’. He had shown the boy what he needed to see. That life was cruel and hard. Just like it had been to him. His stepson was a dreamy boy, with his head up in the clouds. Just like his mom was one day. But that’s not how the world works. He thought to himself.
The young boy’s dream laid shattered into pieces on his plate. That day another kid’s dreams were broken, by the pessimism, and cruelty of an unpursued dream of another. The stepdad once had a dream as well, of becoming a musician. He had talent, he was great at it. He played a mad bit of guitar. And when he now picked up his guitar and played, his eyes lit up. He was alive, for the only moment in his life. All the rest, his work, his relationships, everything, was dull. Cruel. A harsh reality. All because of the fear to pursue his dream years ago.
He would do anything to still make that dream come to reality, yet he now understood the world better than the young innocent boy he once was. At least that’s what he believed. He wouldn’t let his stepson take that same path. It would break him. He feared that he too wouldn’t be able to reach his dreams. Out of that fear he crushed the boy’s dreams before they got too lively.
so the story ends, for many broken souls on this world. Many young kids, dreaming of the stars. Ready to make their life an adventure. But the past cruel decades haven’t been resolved in many adults.
And so the story ends, for many broken souls on this world. Many young kids, dreaming of the stars. Ready to make their life an adventure. But the past cruel decades haven’t been resolved in many adults. And they aren’t to blame. There’s been cruelty, we as young adults, haven’t known since the moment we were born. Many dreams, unable to be pursued because of wars, poverty, and financial crises. Those days have passed. Yet not in the souls who have experienced them.
But the story of your dream doesn’t end here. Not like the broken dream of this young boy. Not like all the thousands of dreams crushed each day, by fear, hate, and suppression. Your dream, which you carry with you in your heart starts today. Only not in the way you expect it to start. Because the stepdad is right. You will never reach your dream.
Don’t Reach for Your Dreams
That’s upsetting. I know. It’s just not the way you expect this to be. You will never reach your dream. You’ll get mad at me, and want me to answer: Why won’t you reach your dream? Well, let me give you a story. A story of a young woman named Sue.
Sue is 21 years old.
Almost finished with college.
She wants to be a surgeon.
It’s what she has always dreamed of.
A well-paid, and purposeful job.
But sadly, she hasn’t shown that she has the mental capacity to learn all facts one needs to know to become a surgeon.
That knowledge crushed her.
Her dream was at the brink of shattering into a million pieces.
Until she met a young man, living his dream life.
That young man is called Jay.
Jay was visiting a local coffee shop when Sue was studying for one of her final exams.
Sue saw him enter and didn’t think much of him.
A man in plain blue jeans, a brown minimal oversized t-shirt, a few necklaces around his neck, and even more rings around his fingers.
The coffee shop was filled.
The pandemic was still taking place, and there was only room for a few tables because of the social distancing rules.
Jay ordered his coffee, but instead of leaving to drink it outside, he walked up to Sue.
“Can I sit with you? The cafe is packed, and I would love to have a minute to sit down.” Jay asked politely.
Sue nodded and hoped Jay wouldn’t bother her.
But just as she thought that Jay started to bother her.
“Can I ask you something?” Jay asked.
“Yes…” Sue answered whilst releasing a soft sigh.
“What are you dreaming about?” Jay startled Sue.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“Well, I see in your eyes, that you have a dream that’s nearing the dawn of its existence. So what is it?” Jay replied.
Sue was in desperate need to talk about her dream with someone, so she took her chances.
“I want to be a surgeon, but I have a hard time learning, and don’t have the right level of education to go to college for it.” She almost started crying.
And just like I said to you, Jay said the same to her.
“You will never reach your dream,” Jay said.
Which made Sue angry.
“Why are you first asking me about my dream, and then trying to break it completely!?” She said, trying to keep her tone down in the packed coffee shop.
“You will never reach your dream if you keep on thinking it’s something of the future,” Jay answered calmly.
“You see,” Jay continued “I am living my dream life. But I have not yet fulfilled my full dream.” Sue interrupted him.
“How can you live your dream, when you haven’t fulfilled it? She asked.
living your dream life has nothing to do with fulfilling that dream
“Because that’s why you will never reach your dreams. I am living my dream life because living your dream life has nothing to do with fulfilling that dream. It has nothing to do with being a surgeon, or in my case, being a published and well-known writer. Living your dream is now, all around you. Becoming a surgeon is just a part of that dream, but not all. If you want to reach that part of your dream, you’ll have to let go of the idea of reaching it one day. And see that your dream of being a surgeon starts now. This moment. In this coffee shop.” Jay smiled and thanked the barista who just served his coffee.
“How can it start now, if I haven’t been admitted to college?” Sue asked.
“Look at me, do you think I am a published writer yet?” Jay asked.
“Well you can’t see on the looks of someone if he has published a book or not, can you?” Sue joked.
“That’s true, you can’t. But just so I can continue my story, I ain’t a published writer. I am just starting, and many don’t believe that I’ll ever be able to make that dream a reality. Yet that doesn’t stop me from living my dream life right now.” Jay said as he took a sip from his coffee.
Living our dream life has nothing to do with the end goal.
“Living our dream life,” Jay continued. “Has nothing to do with the end goal. Becoming a surgeon is just part of that dream life, but after that, your days will become very much the same. At least, that is if you don’t start living your dream life now.” Jay explained.
“I don’t get it?” Sue said.
“That’s what so many people get wrong when they want their dreams to come true. They are so focused on reaching the end goal, of actually fulfilling their dream, that they forget about living a dream life. We are so oriented on reaching that end, that we forget to live a dream life at this very moment. That’s why you will never reach your dream. It’s not something in the future. The goal is in the future, you becoming a surgeon is in the future, because you need training for that. But the dream life in which you are a surgeon, that starts right here and now.” Jay smiled at Sue and leaned forward.
“Young woman, please start living, start living your dream life now. Feel what it means to live your dream life, start enjoying the parts of your dream life you are already experiencing. Live. That’s how you live your dream, instead of reach for it.” Jay got up and left.
Just like that. He was gone.
Sue looked into his cup of coffee, and it was empty.
Totally clean. As if he hadn’t even had any coffee.
When she looked up from the coffee cup he was gone.
She couldn’t see him anymore. Not inside, nor outside.
She wasn’t sure if she had imagined it, or if it was real, all she did know is that what Jay said was right.
When Will You Reach Your Dream?
We all have dreams, some more challenging to reach than others maybe, but all of them are dreams. Dreams of a future we want to live. Of a future job. Of a future relationship. Of a future home. Of a future life. Dreams are of the future. Never do we start living a dream life right now, instead of aiming for it in the future.
Dreaming of being an artist is both beautiful and sad. Beautiful because it always allows you to grow and enrich life. But sad because if you aren’t fully present in that dream life it will never feel like a dream to you, and you will keep on living a life of the future, instead of the present.
That’s why I said to you that you will never reach your dreams because your dreams will always be something of the future. If you now dream of becoming an artist, you will be dreaming of something else once you are an artist. This is both beautiful and sad. Beautiful because it always allows you to grow and enrich life. But sad because if you aren’t fully present in that dream life it will never feel like a dream to you, and you will keep on living a life of the future, instead of the present.
It’s why I made my statement so clear, and provocative. To get into your heart, and mind at the same time. To get you thinking about the dream you want to reach. Why do you want to reach that dream? Why do you want to be a musician? Why do you want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Why do you want to make a lot of money? It’s never because you want to have it, it’s never because you just want to be a musician, or have a lot of money. It’s what those things make you feel like that you want to experience.
The magical thing is, that this can only be experienced now. Although you might believe that this feeling is attached to your dream, it’s not. The feeling you get when thinking and imagining a lot of money is right here, right now. It isn’t attached to having a lot of money, because that would mean you can’t feel it when you don’t have a lot of money yet. That’s not the case. You feel safe, happy, or whatever it is you feel when you think of your dreams, right now. At this very moment.
Is your dream somewhere in the future? Or could your dream be right here, right now? If your dreams are in the future, they can never be reached, never be fully attained. Because if they are in the future, they will always be in the future. You will never be satisfied. You will always have something else to dream about. Yet if your dreams become experiences that are right here and now, and you start feeling what that dream is, experiencing that dream, not the physical things, but the internal side of that dream, you’ll already be satisfied and at peace.
Your dreams are internal. Feelings. Experiences. Emotions. All right here. Your dream, however big it is, has many things that you can already experience right now. Drinking a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, for example, will still be the same when you have reached your dream. Yet if you think of drinking a cup of coffee when you have reached your dream, and imagine it, it feels different. You feel more alive and enjoy it more. Why not experience that now? And start living as many parts of your dream right here and now.
The Only Way to Reach Your Dreams
This may sound sad, but you’ll never reach your dream. You’ll never just get exactly where you want to be. You can either see that as something sad, and cruel. Maybe even as the torment of human existence, that we will never live up to our full potential before dying. Or you could die a content human, knowing that you have made the most of life by living it fully in the here and now. Knowing that you have lived your dream life, even though you might not have been able to fulfill your biggest dream.
We can all live our dream life. All that asks of us, is to live as present as possible.
We can all live our dream life. All that asks of us, is to live as present as possible. Make the most of everything we are going through right now. The dream you have in your mind, and the way you feel when you achieve that dream, that is right here and now. It’s the way you go through life, each day again. It’s not attached to achieving your dream. It’s attached to life. And life happens only now. At this very moment.
Your dream that you carry in your heart, starts right now. Even though others might have crushed it, broken it, shattered it into pieces. That wasn’t your dream. It was only one of the many imaginations of that dream. Your dream is still present. Always. However many setbacks and hardships you’ll experience in life. Because your dream life isn’t somewhere out there. It isn’t in the future. Nor in the past. It isn’t in some other country, or with some other people. It’s right here. Right now. Because today we live. Today is the only chance we have to live our dream lives. So live life to the fullest, and make the most of every minute you got.
Oh, and you’ll see that your dream, the achievement part, the reaching part, will one day become reality. It will. I have faith in that.
If you want to visualize and start living your dream life right now and start on a journey of self-discovery. So that you feel more alive. Then I want to invite you to listen to the Just Now Podcast. The Just Now podcast is a place for you to just be for a moment. To feel, experience, and understand what it means to be alive. The episodes all give extra clarity on topics discussed in the articles I write through short mindful guided meditations and reflective questions. Serving as a daily check-in to yourself. The episode that is linked to this article is all about visualizing, and experiencing a dream life.
I hope to speak to you there, for now remember today you live! Make the most of it.